I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
