My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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