just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
