Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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