I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
