trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
We got so high we made milksteak
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
