my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
