I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
