i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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