Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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