Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
