Jerry, you need to find god
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
