clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
