I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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