just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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