Whats the glycemic index on semen?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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