saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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