operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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