My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
