The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
