Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
