if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
