when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
