what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
