I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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