I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
