is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
