so explain again why im purple
no
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
