Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
