It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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