he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
