My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
