4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
