are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
