I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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