you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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