Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
