I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
