I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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