Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
