I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
