does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
