We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
