Christians are straight up FREAKS
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
