Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
