Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
