hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
