are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
