you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
