we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
