seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
