Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
