Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
did you just send me my own nude
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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