im about as happy as oj after his trial
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
